I am doing pretty well these days, getting back into the swing of things, at least for the most part. I'm finding that I keep forgetting things I need to do, so I am trying to write everything down. As long as my list doesn't disappear...
It is mostly things out of the blue now that seem to trigger the sadness. Like the day I got a prayer request email about a woman with 3 little kids who was planning to abort her twin pregnancy. Or the day I called in to the local Catholic radio station phone-a-thon to make a pledge in honor of Mary Joseph. Or the other day when I held a little baby for the first time since the miscarriage. But, that felt good, too. Sad and good at the same time. Or when an acquaintance asked how we were doing, you know in that trivial way that doesn't invite a real response, and I didn't say anything about the miscarriage.
The first time we went to Mass after the miscarriage, I was startled to find myself trying not to cry. I suppose it was because I felt closer to her there, which makes sense, since the Mass is celebrated by all the angels and saints in heaven. That of course also brings me much comfort.
I think about our little baby every day and I frequently ask her for prayers. Her memory brings me joy as well as sadness. I do wish I at least had a sono picture of her.
Which brings me to my reason for this post. I wanted to share some of the links that I have found helpful. The first one is called the Morning Light Ministry. It is a "Catholic ministry for bereaved mothers and bereaved fathers who have experienced the death of their baby through ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death up to one year old." They offer email and phone support run by bereaved parents. They also offer free of charge to bereaved parents, prayer cards and blessed religious mementos of your baby, which can include a rosary, medals, and a crocheted cross. They have a special email just for bereaved parents where you can request these things, which I have done. I have a pretty little box started where I plan to keep all the things relating to Mary Joseph. They also offer a book called Morning Light: Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Early Infant Death From a Catholic Perspective by Bernadette Zambri, as well as various brochures. You can download an order form from the website. I haven't seen the book yet, but I'm planning to order it. Maybe I'll have to do a review later.
Next is Elizabeth Ministry International. "Elizabeth Ministry is an international movement designed to support women and their families during the joys, trials and sorrows of the childbearing years. Elizabeth Ministry’s mission is to cherish children, encourage families and build community. There are nearly 700 chapters in churches around the world. Elizabeth Ministry chapters connect women for prayer, affirmation and encouragement." I don't know of any chapters in my area but this could be a great resource for others. The website says they will soon have an online database of all the chapters. They have an online store with many items, including a miscarriage delivery package, burial vessels, baby afghans, prayer cards, figurine of an angel holding a baby, necklace of little baby held in God's hands, etc.
Then there is Share - Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, which is not specifically Catholic. You can request an info packet, which they will email or snail mail you. This contains a lot of good information (nothing contrary to Catholic teaching that I could find). They also offer multiple online message boards and two chat rooms, none of which I have investigated. Also, included in the info packet is a list of pregnancy loss support groups in your state.
I found a yahoo group which is specifically for Catholic women who have lost a baby from conception to 3 years of age. It is called Babies With God.
I also found a email discussion group at CatholicMothers.com for traditional, orthodox Roman Catholic mothers. While not specific to miscarriage, as soon as I mentioned our miscarriage, I got many messages of support and condolence. It seems like a neat group. Here is the link to sign up.
Okay, I think that is all for now. I'll probably remember some more later.