It is always a dilemma at our house whether or not to take the whole family to Mass together. With a 3 & 1/2 year old, 2 year old twins, and a 5 month old baby, if one thing goes wrong, a disaster can ensue. Our parish church is only 2 minutes away, but with 3 diapers to change, 4 kids to dress, 2 girlie hairdos to do, one baby to nurse once or twice, not to mention breakfast and getting ourselves ready, the 8:30 Mass seems out of reach. Heck, it takes at least 10 minutes just to get everyone in their jackets and buckled in their car seats.
The second Mass is at 11:00 and then we have trouble because that gets into lunch time and naptime. So our last resolve was to try to go as a family at least once a month. When we do that we go to a different church which has a 10:00 Mass. When we go separately, Dan takes one of the twins when he goes and I take the baby and the oldest child.
Right now the tough ones at Mass are the baby, who sometimes gets very cranky and requires a speedy exit, and Dominic, one of the twins, who has a tough time sitting still and being quiet. The cry-room is not an option because it is a zoo of running, crying, eating, or playing kids. There is a nursery, but I would rather the kids learn to be with us at Mass and be quiet.
I don't bring books anymore to occupy them because then a war breaks out over who gets which book. I even tried getting two of the same book which didn't help much. We also don't do snacks or drinks in church, except for the baby who gets to nurse, of course. Dan is always in charge of Dominic and I usually have the baby, and the girls do fairly well, but half the time we sit in fear of everything slipping over the edge into total meltdown. I just hope and pray that there are special graces for parents who are unable to pay attention as well as they would like!
I do pray to their guardian angels to help them be good. Last time when we got there, I whispered to Dominic to pray to Jesus and then you could hear this little voice saying, "Pay, Jeziz!" I had also told them to listen for the bells and when they started ringing, the twins got excited and proclaimed, "Terch bells!" We are working on it. Hopefully, when the twins get a little older, we can all go together more, but right now I think we have to, at least most of the time, divide and conquer.
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3 comments:
Wow! I could have written that myself may years ago - granted, I only had 3 small ones. I found it very difficult to attend mass with them and often ended up not going. Like you, the mass time never seemed to fit our schedules and watching three alone in church was too frazzling for me. Time passed and they grew and we started going back to mass regularly. I hope you continue to go - even if they wiggle and giggle! LOL They have to learn/be taught and they only learn by doing. I try my hardest to praise parents there with their small ones and to help those who seem to be struggling. I'm quick to speak up on their behalf when someone says the children were wiggly. They were there!! They will learn. They have to be exposed and I would rather see them in church wiggling than running amuck not knowing about church at all!
Keep attending. :) It's worth it. Befriend a teen to help to sit by you? Grandparents? Friends?
My friends' children are having children and we (the older moms) encourage them to come sit by us so we can help them out.
Been there, and would have given anything for someone to reach out and help.
Hi Rachel,
Thank you for your encouragement. That is a good idea to grab someone sympathetic to sit by us. We don't have any grandparents in town, so I'll have to think on it.
I think it is all good at promoting more humility in us as parents!
Ha! I can identify. I can offer that it gets easier, once the children get older. Even if you have more kids. I remember always admiring a family with six kids, watching their toddler behave SO WELL -- so much better than two of my own. Now that I have five, I understand that the younger kids seem to do better than their siblings did at that age; it must be peer pressure that helps keep them in line!
Well, we also attend a 7:30 Mass, just so that they're still a bit groggy. ;-)
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